This  message was preached for Pevensey Bay Baptist Church during the lockdown of 2021

Transcript

You may be wondering what on earth has the proceedings of an ancient Babylonian royal court have got to do with us today.

The wonder of the Bible is its timelessness. God’s word is able to speak to us even though the event recorded took place nearly 2,500 years ago.

• Have you ever heard some news that made you feel really down? – that’s where Nehemiah is in this story.

• Have you ever had to make a big ask of someone you’re a bit scared of? – that’s where Nehemiah is in this chapter.

• Have you ever faced a nerve-wracking situation and said under your breath “God, help!” – that’s where Nehemiah is today.

And all the way through we’re going to see the enormous difference that having God in our lives makes!

This book of the Bible is in effect Nehemiah’s personal journal <ppt> and over and over again we’re going to see him calling on God for a steer in tough decisions and for help when things get tough

We’re going to see a sovereign God working <ppt> behind the events of Nehemiah’s life

• and we’re even going to see God achieving his purpose through King Artaxerxes who, so far as we can tell, had no time for God at all!

So here the bible teaches us about depression and the effect it had on Nehemiah

and the difference that having God in his life made.

• it teaches us about praying – especially ‘arrow’ praying when we’re desperate

backstory

The city of Jerusalem was attacked by troops from Babylon (modern Iraq) and most of God’s people there carried off into exile. <ppt: map>

• By this time, some people had returned,leaving the rest in Babylon, including Nehemiah’s family.

Nehemiah has risen through the royal palace and is now the King’s butler – an enormously influential position in the realm. King’s closest confidante.

The story begins in ch 1 with Nehemiah hearing about the state of Jerusalem from some other Jews who had travelled there – and the news wasn’t good, The city had fallen into disrepair and the walls were dilapidated.

• Then something unexpected happens. Instead of saying ‘that’s sad’ this news plunges Nehemiah into the pit of despair

• Now this is not normal behaviour and I wonder why it happened.

Longing for home

We can get a grasp on this by asking ‘what kind of home <ppt> was Nehemiah brought up in?

• We can tell from his name is was a devout Jewish home. His parents were committed enough to God to give their son a name which means ‘the Lord comforts’

We can imagine the kind of conversation Nehemiah would have had with his dad when he was a kid:

• “What’s Jerusalem like daddy?”

• “Oh it’s fantastic, the buildings are magnificent, the streets are wide, the people trust God and the temple – one day you’ll see it I hope!”

• Every year the family would celebrate the passover and look forward to going home. One key line in the passover script … “next year in Jerusalem!”

• So Nehemiah grew up longing for the day he could go to his home to his roots in this stunning city. “next year in Jerusalem”

So when some of his Jewish brothers arrived and he asked about the remnant that were in Jerusalem, Nehemiah heard a very different story.

• The place was a wreck. The buildings were ruined, the walls were a pile of rubble and the gates reduced to ash.

• … and as we might expect, the morale of the people was at rock bottom.

This was devastating news <ppt> to Nehemiah! His emotions spun down a vortex of despair and wept for weeks. (While, keeping up a jovial and pleasant personality in front of his master, the king.)

Why was Nehemiah so depressed? Surely he had one of the best jobs in the land! His peers would envy him for his success in the Babylonian court – he had everything going for him! This tells us two things

• Depression can strike anyone, <ppt> even high achievers – No-one is immune – in fact there are some very famous high profile achievers who battled with it (Winston Churchill <ppt> and Stephen Fry <ppt> Lady Gaga, JKRowling who said this

• “It’s so difficult to describe [depression] to someone who’s never been there, because it’s not sadness, But it’s that cold absence of feeling — that really hollowed-out feeling.” )

• Nehemiah’s is a particular form of depression, a reactive depression which sets in (often) as a response to a profound loss <ppt>

• (different from other types of depression which require different approaches)

• Nehemiah is reacting adversely to a loss.

Life’s losses are inevitable. We lose things all the way through life and God knows this!

• The moment you were born you lost the snug warmth and comfort of your mother’s womb. You may not remember it, but it was a profound loss!

• When you left school you lost the company of many of your friends

• When you became an adult and you may have taken on the responsibilities of a marriage you lost some freedom – and when it comes to having children – you’ll sometimes feel as if you’ve lost the lot!

• I’ve not long retired, and I’ve lost a job I love! (although I knew it was coming, of course)

I remember talking with one man we prepared for marriage a few months after his wedding. I asked him how it was going. ‘Marriage is good, but I can’t just go out with my mates any more, I’ve always got to be thinking of Jane’ – with all the gains of marriage, this was a loss to him! He wasn’t a free agent any more.

• As we earn money we may make choices which may lose us our money – that’s a loss

• We may lose spending power because of the economic plight of UK PLC – it’s a loss.

• As we move into middle age we may lose our glamour or our athleticism.

E.g. IW – remember how I felt the first time CJW raced me in swimming pool and won!

• IW always able to win in the swimming pool comfortably

• The trick – stay a few inches ahead all the way down the pool to make Chris think he was competing in a real race.

• One day it started getting harder – and a few months later, no matter how much effort I put into the race – he won.

• At that moment I suffered a significant sense of loss!

Much later on we loose our faculties, our eyesight, our hair and eventually lose life as we know it.

Looking at life through the lens of losses, life is not a happy prospect but knowing God loves us – even in our losses – gives life a much deeper meaning

He loves us through our losses

• and he can help us be resilient when they come down the track.

I see another aspect of this story

Depression in men

And it appears that he did what most of us men do when we’re depressed – he hid it. <ppt>

Neh 2:1 In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes,

This is four months after he’d heard the news and started praying.

Nehemiah was typical! We men tend to struggle with losses because we’re schooled to be winners and successful, not losers and underachievers. This is the way we tend to socialise young boys!

• Play to win!

concealment

Nehemiah, schooled in the ways of the palace, had kept the lid on his loss for 4 months

But finally the tension had got too much for him and his prayer in chapter 1 finished with

Neh 1:11 … Give your servant success today by granting him favour in the presence of .. the king.

Today is going to be the day when I come out with it, when I let my guard down.

1 … when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before;

There’s something significant here:

• Men and women tend to show their depressions differently

I know I’m stereotyping here, but hear me out!

• Men tend to blame others for their depression, women tend to blame themselves.

• Men tend to act out their depression, women will turn their feelings inwards

• men will try to keep control of themselves at all costs! But women will allow the dam to burst a bit sooner.

• Men will tend to turn to some anaesthetizing behaviour to smother their depression (TV, alcohol, sex (pornography)) , women will tend to turn to food, or friends

Overall – men tend to act out (to behave) their depression – you may not hear it in their words but you will see it in their behaviour. Ask any wife living with a depressed husband – where’s the first sign observed? In his behaviour!

2 <ppt> so the king asked me, “Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.”

What God gave Nehemiah at this moment was a person who deduced Nehemiah’s inner state from his outer behaviour and brought the problem into the open.

• How insightful was that king! “This can be nothing but sadness of heart.”

• Nehemiah was acting out one of the classic symptoms – anhedonia <ppt> – a lack of joy in something he would otherwise have relished – being the King’s butler.

Then Nehemiah showed another classic male trait when he heard the king say this. He realised that the truth was out, he’d been rumbled –

2 .. I was very much afraid,

fear <ppt>

Whenever a man feels his innermost secrets have been exposed he feels scared!

So Nehemiah now has nothing to lose by telling the king what’s on his mind.

3 but I said to the king, “May the king live for ever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?”

This is the heart-stopping moment when the hang-glider first jumps off the cliff – is the air going to hold him or not?

Recovery

Nehemiah already had some habits in place that would help him out

He kept a journal

The whole book is his journal in which he not only wrote down a great deal of detail but reflected on his thoughts and feelings as the project progressed. This process of writing down (called ‘externalising) our feelings is very helpful as a habit that will help us handle difficult times an troubling emotions

He took note his feelings

Emotions are data … information.

• He could ask the question “what are my feelings telling me right now?”

He recognised his feelings and he had names for them

• there’s a wider than usual range of emotional vocabulary in Nehemiah

• There are probably more references to feelings and emotions in Nehemiah that in many other comparable narrative sections of the Bible.

(Send me an e-mail and I’ll send back a set of emotion-words to help you if you’d like)

He built rapport with close friends

As we go through the book we’ll see how he worked closely with people in order to complete the wall.

arrow praying

4 The king said to me, “What is it you want?”

What a remarkable answer to Nehemiah’s prayer in chapter 1 “Lord grant me favour with this man!”

Then I prayed to the God of heaven,

Chap 1 was full of a long prayer, no time for that here. This is an arrow prayer “God help!” “Lord I need you here!”

Nehemiah was balancing two competing realities here.

• The need to pray in faith <ppt>

• and the need to have a practical plan of action <ppt> and therefore know what you need to say.

Question: How did Nehemiah know that what he was about to say to the king was right? A: He didn’t

So here’s Nehemiah’s arrow prayer method – Pray earnestly and quickly, and then just say what you think God wants you to say (using your mind, your intelligence, your wisdom – that which the Lord has already invested in you) – then leave the rest to him.

Neh 2:5 <ppt> and I answered the king, “If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favour in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so that I can rebuild it.”

Remember that Jerusalem was under the king’s jurisdiction so Nehemiah was asking him to make a trip to another part of the empire to rebuild something that was broken down.

6 Then the king, with the queen sitting beside him (maybe she was the power behind the throne!), asked me, “How long will your journey take, and when will you get back?” It pleased the king to send me; so I set a time.

Recap

• Depression can strike anyone

• being real with God and ourselves about it can help enormously (and if you need professional help, go and get it)

• Arrow prayers are heard by our heavenly Father

Pray