Eulogies and tributes

Very often a member of the family or a close friend will want to pay tribute to the person who has died. If you would prefer, I can write this for you, using information and stories you provide for me. But this can be a difficult, even harrowing process so here are some guidelines to help you.

A tribute does not have to be unremittingly sombre, so settle on what tone you want to have. It is serious or lighthearted, chronological or thematic? The most important thing is that you speak from the heart and your relatives will appreciate the time and thought you have put into it.

Give us some basic details about your loved one. It’s likely there will be people who knew him or her less well than you do and they will appreciate the context.

What were his or her major achievements, likes and dislikes, favourite music or food? all of these little details can speak volumes about who a person was. What’s your favourite story about them? Will you remember them because they did something magnificent, querky or just funny. Of course you will always want to speak well of your loved one and remind the audience how precious they were to you.

Please be concise and organised. At a crematorium we may only have 20 minutes from the whole celebration so your tribute will need to be time limited. Most of us speak in public at about 100 words per minute, so think about writing, say 400 – 500 words at most. Editing down your material could be one of the toughest parts of writing the tribute.

If I can help you with this process, I will be available to you for this.

Incidentally, there are many good resources about writing tributes or eulogies and the Co-op have a useful one here.