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In 1982 the American author Bruce Fierstien published a book called ‘Real men don’t eat quiche’. It was a tongue-in-cheek attempt to define what a ‘real man’ is (or rather what he isn’t) It had a huge cultural impact at the time

In another book called “The 49% majority” the authors David and Brannon define the common conception of masculinity.

The ‘no sissy stuff’ syndrome

no sissy food (like quiche!), no needlepoint,
no female talk, no feminine things

probably for fear of being thought of as gay

The ‘big wheel’ syndrome

i.e. the Big Man in the situation – the one with the steering wheel
If you want to spot the dominant male in a family – look for the person who operates the TV remote control!!

The ‘sturdy oak’ syndrome

requires the man to be tough at all times, self-reliant, never shaken

The ‘give ’em hell’ syndrome

a real man should be assertive, competitive, making things happen
one up on the next guy – even if I have to trample his ideas and personality in the process.
other people are expendable – it’s no. 1 that really matters.

So what is a ‘real man’ (if such a person exists) this is an urgent question today

Many of us men simply do not know what sort of person we should be

macho or gentle >>>
assertive or submissive

As a Christian I find myself reacting to the aggressiveness of the macho image because people are valuable and I see so many of them who are broken by such assertive behaviour

At the same time I react to the soft image of emasculated, indecisive men who lack confidence and drive

Poet Robert Bly calls them ‘soft males’

“They are lovely, valuable people – and I like them – they’re not interested in harming the earth or starting wars or working for big companies. There’s something favourable towards life in their whole general mood and style of living.”

But something’s wrong. Many of these men are unhappy: there’s not much energy about them. They’re life-preserving, but not exactly life-giving. … They have no vitality to pour into those around them. (quoted in Hybels ‘Honest to God’ TIA/HYB/1523, p32)

I hear this cry increasingly from Christian women!

So today I want to deal with the question of Christian masculinity

I want to give us men some guidelines on how to be a man – do it by considering one example

You may find it surprising that while we’re looking at a Bible book where women have so much of the story-line that I’m preaching on masculinity!

We could do a similar talk on Christian womanhood (although I’m probably not the right person to do it!)

chap 1 – heroine is Naomi

chap 2 – heroine is Ruth

chap 3 – a hero, Boaz

Misconceptions about Ruth

it’s just a love story

it is, but it’s much more than that

it’s a picture of the way Christ relates to us

we discover God’s heart for us here in this little book

it’s a feminist book

a shining example of how women battle through against the odds, against societal pressures etc

no way! It shows both men and women in equally good light

What sort of man was Boaz, and what can we learn from him?

Kinsman-redeemer (goel) meaning

A male relative who, according to the OT laws had the privilege or responsibility to act on behalf of a relative who was in trouble, danger, or dire need.

There could be several K-Rs in one family

Story so far >>>

Look at Boaz

He was a working man (3:2)

A worker!

3:2 Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor

It’s clear that Boaz had people working for him in the fields. He could have told them to get on with the work while he went around doing very little (or dreaming up bigger projects). But that’s not the man we have here, He wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty and do the humble task where that was necessary

He had taught himself to resist the tendency to laziness or to opt for easy work.

I find I admire men like that.

a responsible man (2:15-16)

Gave clear instructions to his workmen … and knew why he was doing so

Ruth 2:15-16 As she got up to glean, Boaz gave orders to his men, “Even if she gathers among the sheaves, don’t embarrass her.

Women who gatecrash could have a rough time. Boaz keen to have good working practices so that the people he’s responsible for are valued.

16 Rather, pull out some stalks for her from the bundles and leave them for her to pick up, and don’t rebuke her.”

Protected his corn by sleeping nearby

Sometimes threshing was done at night so the daylight hours could be devoted to reaping

Here’s a man who was trustworthy

a protective man (2:8)

Alert to Ruth’s plight

Ruth 2:8 So Boaz said to Ruth, “My daughter, listen to me. Don’t go and glean in another field and don’t go away from here. Stay here with my servant girls.

Rights of gleaners and reapers were different

reapers paid – gleaners not
reapers had right to the best & the bulk of the crop – gleaners only the leftovers
food provided by employers for the reapers – gleaners left to fend for themselves

But Boaz was responsive to her needs.

a grateful man – v10

10 “This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor.

=> likely to be middle-aged (In their terms)

So often gratitude opens the way for God’s Spirit to be released in us

Col 3:15-17

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

IN fact thanking God for what he is about to do triggers his action in our lives

A great example is Mary

she’d heard she was going to be the mother of God’s son

she thanked God in advance of it happening

that’s the nature of faith!

a controlled man – v11-12

3:11-12And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character.

goes off to sleep, knowing that there has been a woman whom he rather fancies gleaning all day in his field

suddenly she turns up, perfumed and dressed to impress, by his feet in bed!

Didn’t press his advantage v11

Two areas where he could have taken advantage of her

sexually

– even though the opportunity was there. He shows that the real man is the man who can say no to himself!

There’s another respect in which he shows his control –

relationally v12

12 Although it is true that I am near of kin, there is a kinsman-redeemer nearer than I.

Although he would dearly love to have Ruth as his wife he didn’t press the issue

he held the relationship in an open palm.

no hint of jealousy

how sad when a husband is jealous of his wife & vice versa

leads to sadness & tension

But a real man is not threatened by the friendships that his wife etc. has.

a Godly man – v10 & v13b

Underlying everything this man does is his faith in God

called on the blessing of God v10 “The Lord bless you!”

God delights to bless us as we ask for his blessing.

This is more than the weak ‘Bless you’ that we use sometimes.

Just see his mentality

His desire to bring God’s blessing occurred at the moment when his heart has been moved.

>>>

called on the Lord as his witness v13

a solemn promise

E.g. wedding “to this I give you my most solemn promise”

a generous man – v15

15 He said, “Bring me the shawl you are wearing and hold it out.” When she did so, he poured into it six measures of barley and put it on her.

Don’t know how big the measure was, but it was clearly a generous gesture.

The phrase ‘put it on her’ indicates the kind of heavy load you’d carry on your back (ruck sack)

>>>

a determined man – v18

For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today.’

no procrastination

Tackles sensitive issues promptly

without putting them off.

he will write the difficult letter or make the sensitive phone-call without delay.

Conclusion

How are we getting the message out of this passage of the OT?

by resonating with the story

by saying ‘this Boaz is a picture of God himself’

He loves, with passion and integrity!

what effect did this have in Ruth?

Ruth now knows “This was a man in whose protection she would find security and fulfilment”

Just like Christ

we cannot rescue ourselves, he did it for us.
He was generous – giving all the riches of God’s blessing to us
he was determined – he chose the cross for you – could have opted out.

Pray

Generosity